It’s been a hard day. We all went to our new house at Radal, and started cleaning it all up. We washed the whole house with water, scrubbing, sweeping, yelling. Heheh yups, yelling always become one of our cleaning the house tradition.
Yesterday, I smoked pot again! And didit found out about it. I thought she was being cool about that, but appereantly, she’s not. Later on, Adi talked to me, and told me that she was crying, she felt sad and all. Last night, I sms her and said sorry, I didn’t mention anything about adi trying to flow some kind of something into me. But It doesn’t work! Haha!!

Anyway, didit told me that sonny knew about it too, she told him. And sonny was kinda pissed off with it also. I told Irfan by sms, and he said sorry since he forgot to stop me. He told me, that he will not let me consume it anymore.

I feel weird with all of the things that’s been going on. There’s no sureness about what kind of life that I’ll be facing tomorrow. I feel lost. I know I have a God who’s giving me a bright future in Him, but I’m confused. I need more of His leads.

I’m not sure whether I need to run to Jedi or not. Not sure if that’s the right thing at this moment. Not sure if he’s actually care for what I’m going thru. Cant tell myself that once I let myself go to his comforting, I will be safe. I cant reasure myself that I wont get hurt. Too scared, too tired, too stupid, too phatetic to even try once more.

For you are always on my mind …
You walk away forever …

:: you don’t miss your water // craig david ::